Ok...this one's for the little people...

There are a whole lot of ways I could have seen this coming. All of the “warning signs” were there. Warning sign’s? Why do people call them that? If they really and truly were warning signs, shouldn’t there have been a big red stop light or stop sign or at least a yellow blinking light popping up over my head if that was the case? Maybe when people say warning signs they mean that little nudging ach you get in your stomach when you know you are making a bad …scratch that…..poor decision.

So what were my warning signs? Was it the fact that I felt nauseous every work day morning when I thought about having to go into that building? Was it the fact that I created an iPod playlist that I had to listen to in the car before I got out that began with Get Up by Amel Larrieux and ended with Groove Thing by Heat Wave? No, those are too simple. Maybe it was the doubled increased dosage of my anti-depression medication or the 20 pounds of fat that I added onto my body. Perhaps it was the acne breakouts at the age of 38 or the fact that my hair started falling out? Yea. Yea, I think that those could be considered great warning signs.

But I suppose that doesn’t matter now. All that matters is the present and the future, because I can’t do anything about the past. My future is 60 months in a federal prison. 60 months for theft from an organization receiving federal funds. Statute 666, I swear I am not making that one up. It really is 666. Wow, I knew that charter school was evil. So I know what you’re thinking. What kind of person steals from a school?

Oh the children….the poor children. To answer your question it would be one of two kinds of people. The first person steals because they can. The children have nothing to do with it. They steal because they want a new car, house, boat, etc. They steal because they don’t care and the money is there and they go through great lengths to hide it. Also, it usually involves so sort of bribery with someone else for personal gain.

The second type steals because they are tired and don’t know how to handled whatever issue is causing them serious stress. Yea….yea… I know what you’re thinking…that’s bullshit! People don’t steal as a coping mechanism. Well…yes they do. Just like some people drink as a way of coping. Some people smoke to relive stress. Some people compulsive shop. Are you getting it now?

Well, it my case I gambled. I gambled as a way to cope with the situation I found myself in. I stole the money as a way to fund the gambling in order to try to cope with the situation I found myself in. I did not try to hiding the money that I stole. There were no other co-thievers. There was no bribery. I did not go out and by a car or a boat or a house. During the time that I took the money I went on two trips, each costing under $600. Both paid for by my $70k a year salary.
So no, I didn’t spend the money I stole on personal shit. I took it to any one of four casino’s and sat down at a slot machine.

I know the question that is burning in your mind. How much did you take? I stole about $660k over the course of one year.

Ok, so pick your jaw up off the floor and keep reading. I am going to take a wild guess and assume that you are reading this because you are both curious and strangely fascinated to know how one person could have done this. I think I know the questions that are popping up in your mind.

Are you kidding? Did you really take that much money? Did you really spend it all at the casino’s? Non-profit organizations have boards and finance committees, how could they have not known? Did your boss know? How did you do it? Etc. etc. Well before we get into that, let me make one thing crystal clear.

There is, was and never will be any excuse for taking something that does not belong to you. Period. I do not condone what I did. I make no excuses for it. And just so we are clear, the definition of an excuse is: to justify.

I am not doing that.

I am explaining both the series of events and set of circumstances that both led to and triggered my response. I am explaining. The definition of an explanation is to clarify and to make account for.

That is what I am doing.

Am I remorseful that I stole the money? Yes I am.

So what is the bottom line? The bottom line is this. I brought a non-profit organization over $5 million dollars worth of funding.

From that $5 million dollars I stole $660k. So the question then becomes…why?

Why would I get millions of dollars in funding for an organization and then turn around and take some of it? I did it because at first, because I was mad, I didn’t know what else to do and then, I got caught up in an addiction that I could not control until I was forcibly yanked out of it.

I mean seriously, how many people out there in the world would be relieved to be sitting on the top bunk in South White - Orleans Parish Jail. I have asked my therapist if that was normal. To be relieved that I didn’t have to work at that place any more. To prefer being in jail than having to step foot on that campus. Yea, I know…weird.

I wasn’t surprised by what happened after my arrest, indictment and sentencing. Not as surprised as everyone around me, at least. I mean I knew exactly the type of people that I had worked for and everyone else (my friends and family) was in the dark. Well, everyone who did not work there or wasn’t dating a co-worker or boss there or had worked with the board’s finance committee or who wasn’t purely looking to cover their own ass in a paper napkin of: I didn’t know anything was wrong! I didn’t know what was happening! I just didn’t know!

Gotta love the ass coverers of the world. Cover your ass…. get a guaranteed administration job at the school for the 2010-2011 school year even though you have no administrative experience. Cover your ass ….get “fired” but still receive $22k from the organization if you play ball like a good boy. Maybe that’s my problem. I wasn’t willing to be a good soldier for the school, especially if what is really going on is detrimental to the students and your administration and board are trying to hide it from the parents. Ah! There’s the key. If the parents knew the truth what would they say? What would they do? And who knows the real truth of it all?
Well, when I was younger my mother told me,” Kelly…there are always 3 truths in every situation...your truth, their truth and the complete truth.” Well, here is my truth.

Part One is about how I ended up in federal prison for taking funds from an organization receiving federal funds…or Statute 666.

We’ll just have to see what happens in Parts Two and Three.

I suppose we should start at the beginning. To make a long story short....I have a lawyer. No.... not in the "Oooohhhh! You’re a super important person! Cool!" kind of way. It's more like the, "Damn, woman ...what did you do?!" kind of way. Well, anyway he told me that I needed to write down everything that happened to me beginning June 1, 2008 until November 16, 2009.

Let me first say that no names have been changed to protect the innocent or guilty. And if anyone who was involved reads this and is shocked.....well.....Bite Me!

My lawyer also told me to try to be as un-emotional in my repeating of facts as possible. And for that I say...well.. I'm a woman....I'll try not to be too emotional....really....I will.

I suppose I should blame it all on Stephanie Allweiss.

It all began in early June of 2008...wait that's not true it actually began in December of 2007. That is when I went for an interview at Tulane University's Human Resource Department. That was the day I met Stephanie Allweiss. She was a very nice person...at least that's what I believe until I'm proven wrong. She had the best of intentions...anyway. I interviewed for a position within her department but I didn't get it. They wanted someone with a J.D. not just a B.A.

So, to sooth my unemployed and broke brow I went to St. Thomas to meet up with some old friends of mine. I was at the Miami airport when I received her, Stephanie's, phone call telling me I hadn't gotten the job, however, she knew of a school that was looking for a Business Manager. She told me that the one they currently had was leaving and they would need to replace her at the end of the school year. She asked if I would be interested in working at a school. Frankly, I wasn't but my wallet was housing several moths and my bank account was in the single digit arena and balancing on the precipice of negative. So I said sure...pass on my resume.

Well, I returned to New Orleans a week later and had an email from John Alford, CEO and Principal of NOLA 180/Langston Hughes Academy Charter School requesting that I forward my resume directly to him. I did so and we traded a few more polite emails before we finally spoke on the phone. That conversation was nice, everything seemed alright. When I asked why the current Business Manager, Melanie Flot, was leaving he told me that she was unhappy where she was and wanted to try something different but other than that everything was great.....yeah warning sign numero uno.

I met John on the school's temporary campus for my first interview. The school was on the third(top) floor in an old school building that had been damaged during Katrina. You see, after the hurricane, so many buildings had been destroyed, that many schools had to share facilities, electricity, phone lines (if they were lucky to have them) food services, etc. Well, this particular building housed two other schools, one on each of the three floors.

Remember now, at that time in 2008, we were not talking about alot of student overcrowding. The population of NOLA (New Orleans) was dramatically smaller than what it once was, therefore, not as many children. Therefore, housing three separate schools in one building is a space saving move.

As I walked into the building I thought to myself, "Ok....I can do this for a year or two.....just until I decide if I really want to stay in Louisiana or not." At that point in my life the only thing holding me in New Orleans was my two year old mortgage....and I love my house....everyone loves their first home....right?

I mounted the stairs I was greeted by John and what we will henceforth call the S.E.G......that's right....courtesy of a phase I learned from my mother (yup...she's old school and born and raised in the south) S.E.G. stands for Shit Eatin' Grin. Oh and by the way...Mr. Alford was a master of that smile....one that...unbeknownst to him, many of his employees mastered imitating to perfection.

John introduced himself and suggested that we find a classroom and sit down and talk. We conversed...it was the typical interview:

Tell me something about yourself
Why do you want to work here?
Why did you move to NOLA?
What do you see yourself doing in 5-10 years?

yada...yada...yada.....Yes, I've worked in Human Resources, so I know the drill.

When that hurdle was completed to his satisfaction, he introduced me to some of the staff. Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Chen, Ms. Ferguson, Mr. Martin, Ms. Angeline....of course Ms. Flot (current Business Manager) and finally Ms. Chastain (who...it turns out....and I did not find out until after I accepted the job on my first day of work...is his girlfriend....classy...truly classy).

Something to think about...out of the seven employees that he introduced me to that day...let's say six employees, because your girlfriend never counts...half of them quit by the end of the month.

At the end of all of the introductions he gave me a "writing test"...i.e. create a letter and a "How well do you know Microsoft Excel test?" ...i.e. create a spreadsheet test. Apparently I can write and I can add numbers across columns, because one week later I received both an email and a voicemail requesting that I "move forward with the final stage of the application process...and meet with some of the board members for breakfast.”

I met Micheal Allweiss, (Stephanie's husband, Board Chairman and a lawyer) and Harold Asher (a CPA) both were members of the Board's Finance Committee, at Betsy's Restaurant for breakfast the following week. During the meeting they asked the typical questions. Tell us about yourself, your work history, why did you move to NOLA...etc.

I asked them, why they were looking for a new Business Manager and what happened to the last one. They told me, with straight faces, that she (Melanie) had decided to leave but only because she wanted to try something different. Also, they said that the only problem/issue that they had with her was that she did not turn in the financial reports on time. It was due the first Thursday of every month.

I asked if there was anything else. They said no. We then began to discuss the fact that although I have worked in finance for a while, I was neither a CPA nor an Accountant. I was very clear in letting them know that while I was to begin an MBA program in the fall, I had no desire to earn either one of those certifications. They seemed to not have an issue with this because my federal education grant management experience was more important. So, they said.

I left the meeting feeling genuinely optimistic about the position and the company. I was offered the job four days later with a start date of July 1, 2008. I was told by John that Melanie would stay for the entire month of July to train me and help me get up to speed. If I had known then what I know now, I would have turned to job down and kept looking.

I started work that Tuesday morning. I could tell that something was going on but I wasn’t sure what. Melanie was the first person I saw. She shared an office with Deniria Angeline, the office manager.

Her desk was covered in stacks of paper that appeared to be in no particular order. There were 5 big binders of different colors behind her desk. As I glanced through them I noticed that although the papers were placed neatly inside there were no tabs separating the different sections. When I noticed two large metal gray filing cabinets behind her desk, I assumed this was where she kept her files. After looking through each of the cabinets and finding only more stacks of paper shoved in each drawer, empty boxes for pens and pencils, student’s homework folders and reams of white copy paper, I was confused.

I asked her where her vendor files were. She stated they were in one of the five binders. I must have still had the confused look on my face because she then proceeded to explain to me how John had insisted that she use the binder system as a way of file management. Have you ever seen those pictures of dogs and puppies where they have one ear completely straight up in the air and the other is folded in and their head is cocked to the side as if to say, “Huh?” Well, that would have been me.
The binder system? Huh? Ok, the binder system works but only if you keep up with it. The binder system works if everyone understands how it works, so that if you are out of the office for say… a weeks vacation, people are not stumbling through your shit trying to figure out what the hell you’ve done. Otherwise, use the hanger files in a file cabinet method. Everyone knows that one. And yes, I know ….warning sign number two.

After she briefly explained her binders system I asked her why she had so many stacks of un-binder-filed paper; on her desk, in her drawers, in top of shelves and in boxes around the room. She told me she just hadn’t gotten to those yet. But I shouldn’t worry we would work on those over the course of the month and by the way the school was moving to a new building, the modular campus on Trafalgar, next to the location of the actual building. And she and I would make sure that everything in the back office wise was moved.

When she and I went to lunch, we discussed a lot of things, mainly that John was dating Mary Chastain, that a lot of his teachers had an issue with their relationship and that they came to her to complain about it. Of course I didn’t know who she was but I found out that she was the schools recruitment manager. I firmly believe in a non-fraternization policy at work unless the couple is a) already married or b) it is not a boss/subordinate relationship that can affect other employees.

When I came into work the next morning I found out two thing 1) Melanie was no where to be found and 2) Mary Chastain was now the new Assistant Principal…… Warning sign number three.

Ok, where do I start with this Melanie or Mary?

Wow.

Wow with a capital W.

Alrighty then….Melanie.

Melanie took her vacation beginning July 2nd and ending July 31. Melanie completed nothing when she left. Melanie explained nothing when she left. Melanie left and took the only computer that housed all of the schools financial information on it with her.

Oh yes, you heard me correctly.

This non-profit organization had all of their financial information on only one computer, one laptop computer…and can I point something out that has been bothering me.

I have read in the oh-so-accurate New Orleans Times Picayune newspaper and heard from various Board members mouths that “I began stealing from the school as soon as” I got there. Really? Really? Really. I got there in July. I did not even have access to any company financials until mid-August.

So, would the common sense people of the world please explain to me how exactly I managed to “begin stealing from the school as soon as” I got there?

Oh…I know maybe it was because I took a signature card from Capital One Bank, signed it, then forged John Alford’s signature on it, then took it to the bank (by myself) and told them to add me as a signatory on the account…And they did.

Really? Really? Are you shitting me?

You know I wish I was making this story up but this is what Langston Hughes Academy’s Board told the Staff, Teachers and Parents in a classic C.Y.A. move…you’re going to see a lot of that from them.

Ok, a few thoughts on this:

1. That is the stupidest story I have ever heard.

2. LHA Board…ummm… one of your member’s is married to someone who is a Vice President at Capital One; maybe they should have cleared this one first.

3. That is the stupidest story I have ever heard.

4. It is not possible to walk into a bank and have your name added onto an account without one of the account holders with you.

5. That is the stupidest story I have ever heard.

6. It’s called taking responsibility for your part in this situation people……really.

7. That is the stupidest story I have ever heard.

But I digress. Moving along.

Melanie didn’t return anyone’s phone calls for weeks. Not mine, not John’s, Michael Allweiss’, Harold Asher’s…...no one’s.